All or Nothing

In class, I often take statements out of context and apply them to my own life. In my calculus class, he talks a lot about infinity.

"It goes beyond human comprehension to talk so much about infinity. Man's ego doesn't want to admit that it's limited. It's an infinite universe with infinite knowledge, beyond our comprehension. Can you imagine infinity? How big is it? Infinity is huge. Infinity is intangible."

Although he was relating this to calculus, I couldn't help but go off on a tangent in my head. (tangent, calculus, ironic.)

Today in Business we discussed something I can't remember the exact term for, but basically it was the concept that you should give a prospective employee a realistic idea of what the job will be like, including mainly the negative aspects. He said that sugarcoating everything in the beginning will lead to disappointments or skewed expectations.

He could not be more right.

Suggestion #2 For Good Relationships

Don't start out with lies or exaggerations. Any good relationship must be built on a sturdy foundation. First impressions are very important, but false first impressions are obviously deceiving.

I often catch myself lying about the most trivial things. I also catch myself lying about my personality, trying to cover up the negative aspects. Everyone has flaws.

Your best friend is not your girlfriend.

I hear it's hard to be friends with exes. However, I rarely have trouble with this. He and I hadn't dated in four years, and we'd been solely friends since. Sure, I often stay at his house and when I do, I sleep in his bed with him - but nothing ever happens. Except that one time.. And every time since.

It's refreshing to be entirely honest, to rid myself of the weight that has been pressing on me for the past year. I felt a sort of freedom telling you that I knew that your "reasons" had solely been excuses and that I'm still bitter. I don't resent you, hate you. I am not even in love with you anymore. I am mainly just bitter and incapable of comprehending why you would choose her after stating for so long that that wasn't want you wanted. Or how you can cheat on her and feel no guilt.

And how I can be a part of it and feel more guilt.

I'm tired of walking backwards.

What have we become?

Our mistakes are too many

and joy can hardly fill the spaces in between anymore.

I knew the warmth of your skin,

the press of your lips.

I felt the trembling in your bones

as your hand found its way to each curve and crevice,

making its home on the small of my back.

The look in your eyes was unfamiliar,

the look I had been longing for

for years.

That night seems so distant now,

clouded memories diluted by inebriation.

The ecstasy of the passionless moment

hardly conjures emotions anymore.

That night

we had

meant nothing.

Less Than Permanent

It's unbelievable how many people a person can be connected to. I've recently come to the conclusion that perhaps I have too many attachments, prior engagements. And that they seem to bring out the worst in me. Maybe it's time to tie up loose ends. What are they doing for me anymore, anyway?

My group of friends is getting old, in more than one sense. Each of us has changed so much and gone in different directions. We just don't fit anymore. Also, secrets revealed can cause major issues.

Suggestion #1 of keeping good relationships:

If you have been friends with the same group of people for years and they are all of the opposite sex, don't have sex with any of them. Chances are, the others will find out (perhaps in a game of truth or dare that you suggested, also a bad idea) and try the same thing. Your friendship from then on seems much less innocent and genuine.